By Thomas Whitfield

My boyfriend and I have a pretty exciting, monogamous sex life—I know, not something you thought could exist! We do a lot of role-playing, mostly fantasy video game stuff, because we’re both nerds. It’s corny, but I pride myself on how open we are with each other. Of course there is a but… He told me that he wants to start role playing incest scenes: father and son, and brothers. It’s just play, but I haven’t said yes yet. It makes me nervous. Like, does he actually want to do that with his family? Am I overthinking this? -Male, Gay, 24

Much like all of the other fantasy role playing you’ve done, this is also likely not connected to reality. Incest porn is one of the most viewed types on the Internet, and not everyone who watches it wants to actually engage in it. Some researchers have argued that the reason it’s so popular is due to the taboo nature. I would guess he’s connecting to the sense of having to sneak around and the repercussions that would come from getting caught. If your main concern is that he might want this to be a reality, ask him, but that’s likely not the case.

I’ve been trying to spice my sex life up with my boyfriend. We’ve been discussing different things we could try. We know we’re not ready to do anything open, so please don’t suggest that; all my friends seem to think that’s the best idea ever. I’m willing to kind of try anything, but my boyfriend identifies as bi and asked me to dress up in women’s clothing and let him f**k me. This is a HUGE turn off for me. I’m not one of those masc for masc douche bags, but I can’t imagine I’m going to feel sexy in that clothing, and feeling sexy makes it easier for me to bottom. I want to satisfy him, but IDK if dressing like a woman is in my wheelhouse. -Male, Gay, 28

Sometimes the kinks we engage in with our significant others is about give and take. It’s probably not realistic to think that you’re going to be into ALL the same things at all times. I wouldn’t tell you to do anything you absolutely 100% do not want to. Is this one of those things? Are you that uncomfortable, or is this something you’re willing to try? Maybe even something you’d be willing to trade for? What about a compromise? For example, wearing a piece of women’s clothing and seeing how it feels, then add more later if you’re comfortable. There is no reason you have to go all in the first time; take it slow. It’s also possible this may be a huge turn on for him, which might end up making it a huge turn on for you. Don’t be afraid to try new things, within reason of course.

Sex/Love/Relationship advice? Send your questions to: Instagram: @ThomasWhitfield84