PAM ANN’S TOP 9 AIRLINE CALAMITIES

Direct from her sell out run on London’s West End, airhostess Pam Ann returns to New York City to present her brand new comedy show, Pam Ann: Cockpit, at XL Cabaret (512 West 42nd Street) for four flights only.  In this raucous new production, the gutsy and glamorous, Asher Levine clad Pam Ann takes aim at the numerous airline calamities making news today.  Here are some of her top mishaps:

1. Air France and Delta Jets Collision at JFK
“The Air France A380 hit the Delta Bombardier aircraft like an aggressive top on a hungry bottom.”

2. Miracle on The Hudson
“It was a miracle! It was a miracle! Oh, shut up. Pam Ann Airlines crash lands every day.  Where’s my Neil Armstrong Medal of Excellence award?”

3. Lufthansa and Egypt Air ‘Near Miss’ at JFK
“Egypt Air doesn’t know what stop or go means, let alone know how to stay on a runway. Have you seen them drive in Cairo? Hello!”

4. Steven Slater Meltdown
“Once upon a time passengers had manners. Steven Slater crewed for TWA back in the golden days of flying so it’s understandable why he blew a slide and got the hell off that plane. Gone are the days when you could write ‘bomb’ on a sick bag and have a good laugh about it.”

5. Qantas (we’ve never had a crash but we’ve had quite a few close calls)
“Every time I get on a Qantas plane I think to myself is this going to be the one? Qantas just need to get one out of the way so we can all move on already.”

6. JetBlue Pilot Meltdown
“So many meltdowns on JetBlue, it’s now part of their in-flight entertainment.”

7. Virgin Atlantic Evacuation
“Virgin Atlantic can’t even get to Florida.  How the fuck are they going to go to space?”

8. Underwear bomber
What’s next?  Bombs in titty implants?”

9. 747 Piggy Backing the Space Shuttle
“Now that’s what I call bare backing a big power bottom”

Pam Ann: Cockpit lands into Terminal XL for four flights only: Friday May 25th, Saturday, May 26th, Friday, June 1st and Saturday, June 2nd. Tickets available online at xlcabaret.com