Queen Sir JET admits that she has never had a real relationship.
“I’ve gone on many dates, but despite my wanting to be in a relationship, I have never quite reached that level of connection with another person,” the genderfluid, muscle fem pop singer (and former adult film star) explains. In her new single, “Stay with Me,” JET recognizes that not everything in life is sunshine and rainbows. “This song is my way of coming to terms with the fact that I might always be a lone wolf,” she says. “I’m ok with my own loneliness.”
“Sadness is part of the process in everything we experience,” the artist continues. “You can’t find true happiness until you find who you are without it, and that is only found through grief and isolation.”
It is why every song Queen Sir JET writes showcases the power of sadness; and also why she recently changed her name from Sir JET to Queen Sir JET. “People often ask me what it is exactly that I think I’m the queen of. I’m not a queen because I think I’m fierce, or because I’m the ruler of a certain population,” she clarifies. “I’m a queen in the sense that I have mastered sorrow and solitude. I am the queen of sadness and my songs are a reflection of that.”
“Stay with Me” is a mid-tempo, electronic song, and in it, the artist dives into her psyche, asking soulful questions that she often ponders about in real life. Quandries like: is she a good person?
“I do sometimes wonder if my motives are pure and if I’m putting other’s needs before my own. Did I say the wrong thing to that person? Should I have given more when I noticed someone was hurting? I don’t always know how to put my feelings into words.”
She admits she is also guilty of not giving herself emotionally to a person in the same way she gives to them physically. “All too often, what I offer to the person lying next to me is my body and sexual gratification when what they really need is an empathetic hand.”
Queen Sir JET grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and later Scottsdale, Arizona with her two parents and older sister. She was a two-year-old male who wanted to play with dolls and wear sparkly leotards that grew into a teenager who despised his body hair and his changing voice. A doctor diagnosed her as having a mental disorder, gender dysmorphia, and put her on anti-depressants.
“It wasn’t until I was 28, living on my own in Hollywood, when I began to understand it was safe to come out of hiding,” she says. She bleached her hair like her idol Marie Fredrikkson of Roxette, and started wearing female clothing and painting her nails.
She was thrilled to finally escape the heteronormative world, and she embraced her new identity in her music, releasing her first EP dedicated to her gender fluidity, Shout-out to the Lonely, in 2012. The title track featured an elaborate video directed by Madonna’s former back-up dancer, Carlton Wilburn. In 2020, Sir JET, as she was known at the time, released her first full-length album, Empowered Bottom. The video for the title single paid homage to famous gender-fluid singers who embody the spirit of empowerment. Last year, she released the single “Alive”, her first collaboration with producer Velvet Code. It was the first to be released under her new moniker, with “Queen” added to her name. “Stay with Me” is Queen Sir JET’s fourth collaboration with Velvet Code.
“In the end, ‘Stay with Me’ is about recognizing that not everything in life is sunshine and rainbows,” Queen Sir JET reflects. “Emotions are all temporary, so there’s no shame in giving in to the dark side from time to time. We can be happy later and fully feel our grief now. I tend to be a lone wolf myself, so this song was my way of coming to terms with the fact that I might always be. In other words, I’m ok with my own loneliness.”
”Queen Sir JET’s “Stay with Me” is produced by Velvet Code and is being distributed by So Fierce Music.
