Ian-Michael Bergeron

“Sex in the City” has nothing on Ian-Michael Bergeron, Get Out! magazine’s own weekly, salaciously candid columnist. Each week we get to live vicariously through Ian-Michael’s real-life adventures—all true, all specific and all interesting, to say the least.

I was fortunate to be able to delve into his life for a minute and discover, as well as uncover, the inspirations of his fabulous writing ability and his sexual escapades at the same time—which, by the way, were also fabulous!

You’ve become Get Out! magazine’s sex goddess. God, I mean.
I’ll be the sex goddess.

So what inspired you to begin writing?
I always wanted to write. I moved to the city to write.

Where are you originally from?
Iowa. I was born and raised in Iowa. I went to college in Iowa, and right after I graduated I moved here to New York, and I started a blog. I did the blog for about a year and a half, sort of just random New York stuff: a lot of dating, a lot of sex. Justin Luke showed my blog to Mike Todd, and then I started writing for Get Out! a year ago.

Happy anniversary! How do you get your ideas for your column? Are they real-life stories?
They are all real. I brainstorm everything that I can remember and break it up however it needs to be broken up. But everything is real. Every sexual encounter is all real

Do you consider yourself slutty?
I like to say I’m “sexually adventurous.”

If you could have your way, what kinds of questions would you like me to ask you?
When Mike gave me the cover, I had no idea if I was going to get an interview or if I was going to write something extra to go with the cover.

Tell everybody a little about you, besides that you’re from Iowa.
I work part time at Cafeteria Restaurant, which is great, because I meet so many interesting people, especially at night. I work as a host, so I’m at the door, and I get to look cute, to have fun. It’s not as stressful as being a server. So I do that, and then I like to go out to the smaller bars. I love Boots and Saddle, because they have so many different kinds of people, all different ages.

Do you have a boyfriend?
I do. I’ve been dating the same boy for six months now.

Do we want to put that in print?
It’s funny, one of our first dates I wrote about, I thought was really funny. He read through it, and he said, “I think it’s a good article, but do you want to write about me as your boyfriend? Is that going to change your marketability? Is that going to change the column?” So he was actually the one that thought maybe I shouldn’t do that, because it would change my image. But I think that the most important part of any type of essay, whether it’s Maya Angelou’s books or my sex column, is truthfulness. If you start lying and fibbing and creating and leaving things out, readers notice. They know.

What’s your favorite color?
Orange.

Well, then, if you were a new addition to a crayon box, what color would you be?
Magenta Pink. Orange is my favorite color, but I would never wear it. It looks awful on me.

Favorite cocktail?
Margaritas. Frozen. But I’m OK with any kind of margarita.

Penis size?
Medium, not too thick.

So you’re not a size queen?
No. I mean, if they know what they are doing. Small penises are the worst though. You never know. They think because it’s small it’s not going to hurt, so they just go in and do it, and it always hurts. I just don’t want it to hurt.

In my case, I just don’t notice them.
That would be the worst. But I can handle a big one when necessary!

What’s the best affair that you’ve ever had?
I think the one I am in now with Adam. When we started, I kept showing up late to things. I would be really needy right away. Then on one of our first dates, someone drugged his drink. I was wearing essentially underwear and a blazer, so people kept asking to take pictures with me. So he kept putting his stuff down to take pictures. I think at some point—I don’t know if someone mistook it for their drink or what happened—but it was like fizzing. He thought it was me, because we hadn’t had sex yet. So he went to the bar and got a new drink. It was the same drink; he just changed it out. Then he went in front of me and downed the whole drink. Then he kept bating me. He was saying that he shouldn’t be this drunk after two drinks. I had no idea, and I told him he should sit down. I told him he should stop drinking. I didn’t know. He kept doing it until we were on the train. I told him he was freaking me out. I asked him if he was dying and did we need to get him food or water. I said, “What’s going on?” Then he finally told me.

What was it like being gay in Iowa?
It was honestly great. I was bullied for being gay when I was in the closet. But then I came out, and owned it, and people just stopped. Iowa legalized gay marriage before New York did. Except in this last presidential election, they are very progressive.

If you could say something meaningful, what would it be?
I would probably say: Whatever you were doing, just keep doing it. I think that’s one of the most important things, and to take advantage of every weird opportunity that comes to you. I certainly didn’t think that my first serialized published work would be a sex and dating column. I came here wanting to write short fiction. This is really so far away from anything that I wanted to do, but it’s really my first big break in writing. You just do it; you just run with it. Why would I want to blog? Anybody can blog. They said that I had to do a blog if I ever wanted to be published. But if I didn’t do the blog, I wouldn’t have the column. By the way, the ex-fiancé is a real person. Those stories are very, very real. He was the one who encouraged me to start blogging. I started writing about myself and my life and about him. I think it backfired. I don’t think he expected that I would be writing about him. I think that was a big dividing point for us. We sort of developed a little bit of friendship post break up, and then I got the column. I told him that I blogged about him so much that they would want me to write about him. Then we just kind of stopped talking, which I understand. He’s a great guy. He’s a social worker. He’s a wonderful human being.

For someone that writes so much about sex, you seem very monogamous.
I am. When I’m single, I’ll absolutely go out. I’ll sleep with someone who is sexy; even on the first date I’ll sleep with them. I don’t think sex is as important or sacred as people make it out to be. When I’m in a relationship, I’m super clingy. I don’t share. I don’t think I could ever be in an open relationship. It wouldn’t work for me. I’d be too jealous all the time.

Wow, I’m glad we had this time together. Should I censor some of this?
No, not for me. Again, I think in any essay writing, just being truthful. Sometimes you hurt yourself when you’re writing. Sometimes you hurt other people. But if you are going to go there, you’ve got to go all the way. If I was going to write about my relationship with my parents, I couldn’t skirt around what it was like growing up. I’d have to go all the way. If you’re going to mention it, you’ve got to do it.

So you’re all the way or nothing.
Yeah! And sexually!

Any last words?
Final words… I think the reason people like my writing is because it’s honest, it’s real and because it’s relatable. We are so embarrassed about first dates, mishaps and all that stuff that one goes through. I don’t think a single person that would read my column would say, “I don’t get any of this!”

instagram: @ianmichaelinwonderland