BY Ian-Michael Bergeron

For my 24th birthday, I was sick as a dog. Actually, I’m not sure I understand that saying. I had a dog in Iowa, and he was never sick—occasionally pooped in the middle of the living room floor, but was never actually sick. Anyway, I felt like a dog shit in the middle of the living room floor. But people kept asking me if I was going to do anything for my birthday, and I...

After my breakup with Q, I started seeing The Ex Fiancé again. I had to admit, it felt strange. I didn’t feel like it was before, but it also didn’t feel like something new. We went out for drinks in SoHo with his friends; we went to see movies at the Bow Tie Theater in Chelsea; we’d stay in and make dinner. (Well, he would make dinner, and I would eat it.) I felt like...

I was just sitting around my apartment when E messaged me, out of the blue, and asked if I wanted to hang out and catch up. I don’t see much of E—he keeps busy with his big, fancy career—so I take every opportunity I can to spend time with him. I put on pants (well, my tights with The Starry Night by Van Gogh printed on them) and jumped into a cab to his West...

I remember a lot of things about the last eight years. I remember the day gay marriage became legal in Iowa and waking up Satchel, the gay freshman who lived in the dorm next to mine. “Do you wanna get married?” I asked him excitedly. “No,” he replied flatly. “Well,” I went on, “we could if we wanted to!” I remember that summer, moving to Minnesota to live with a boy I’d fallen in love...

One night, while feeling particularly lonely and particularly horny, I took to Grindr. P was the first person to message back. He looked cute, even if the picture was a little blurry, and was easy to talk to. He was thin, definitely twink status, and had dark skin. I invited him over. We talked for a bit—just your general get-to-know-you-so-this-feels-less-dirty kind of talk. Where do you work, what do you do in the city, how...

I went out for lunch the other day with N, one of my straight male friends. I have enough gays and girls to give me love advice, most of it, “You deserve everything you want,” but sometimes it’s nice to get a straight boy’s point of view, typically, “You’re overreacting, calm the fuck down.” We sat down at Vynl in Hell’s Kitchen, and he made it clear he had no time for any of my...

After two years of City MD visits (when I was still on my parents’ insurance, that is), I decided that I needed to find my own, full-time doctor. I made an appointment with Dr. L, whose office was in Hell’s Kitchen. She was young, she was cute and most importantly she was a woman—I’m not sure why, but I prefer to be treated by a female doctor. Maybe because I feel safe that they know...

After a brief hiatus of not communicating, The Ex Fiancé and I started talking again. Well, texting, anyway. I told him all about Q, who I’d been dating just over two months. He told me about a boy he’d briefly been involved with, but it only ended up lasting a week or two. It was nice, getting to catch up. We were friends again, I told myself. It was OK that I was talking to...