By Thomas Whitfield

A gaymer is a sexual minority identifying individual who has an active interest in playing video games. Video game revenue in the U.S. for 2017 was almost $24 billion. For some, video game addiction is a real thing, whereas for others it’s just a good time. If you’re not into video games, living with someone who is… well, it might not always be great. And I say this as someone who LOVES video games.

My roommate’s parents pay his part of the rent, and he seems to not be motivated to do anything. He works part-time at a restaurant, but other than that, mostly sits around the apartment playing video games and eating junk food. A lot of the time it’s all night, and then he crashes on the couch. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t even have people over or try and do anything in the living room because just seeing him starts to make me angry. He also smells and has terrible hygiene. We’re on a lease together, so I can’t just move out. What should I do? – Male, Gay, 26

Yes, this would drive me nuts too. It sucks to live in an apartment where you don’t feel like it’s actually yours too. Based on your description, I wonder if your roommate is depressed? What conversations have you had with him about how much these things are bothering you? I would suggest having an open-hearted talk with him about your concerns for him, your friendship and the apartmjbent. Then hear what he has to say and see if you guys can come up with some ground rules. Don’t THREATEN to break the lease and move out, but let him know that if things don’t change, you might have to start looking for a new place to live. Rent is too high in this city to pay for something that doesn’t feel like home.

A few months ago, my BF moved in, after dating for almost a
year. He lost his job in finance, was having a difficult time finding
a new one, and it just seemed like the right thing to do. Now, he hasn’t found a job yet and doesn’t even seem to be trying anymore. We argue about it a lot, especially because I pay for everything. I’m really struggling, because I care about him, but I can’t stand seeing him sit around all day playing video games. Should I just dump him? – Male, Gay, 28

I can 100% understand why you’d be annoyed. NYC is really expensive, and it must feel very overwhelming to work all day and come home to someone who doesn’t seem to be contributing. Relationships ebb and flow; there are going to be times where things are more difficult, and losing a job happens. If you guys want to be together and be a team, then help each other out. Set up goals for helping him get a job, and in the interim, he can have responsibilities around the apartment. Work together so it doesn’t feel like you’re doing it all yourself.

Sex/Love/Relationship advice? Send your questions to: Instagram: @ThomasWhitfield84