By Thomas Whitfield

In the U.S., over 80% of all males are circumcised, but that’s not universal. In Japan nearly everyone is uncircumcised, and under 4% are circumcised in the U.K. In the U.S. there can be a lot of stigma around being uncut, to the degree that some adults even consider undergoing surgery to have their foreskin reduced.

I was born in the U.S., but I’m not circumcised, and I’m considering getting cut. No one has ever complained about my foreskin, but I’m very aware that most of the guys I’ve been with are cut. Sometimes guys make comments about me being uncut, but only occasionally is something negative. I sort of feel like an “other” because I’m not cut, so I talked to my doc, and I’m thinking about it. How can I make sure it’s something I want to do? -Male, Gay, 29

I have no issue with people having this done, IF it’s what THEY want. But, it sounds as though maybe you’re really just giving into peer pressure? I didn’t actually ready anything about how YOU feel about YOUR dick. Aside from how it looks, what are the other reasons? Are you able to maintain hygiene? Is it too tight and therefore painful? How do you feel about the loss of sensitivity following the surgery? I think these are more important questions versus fitting in.

My boyfriend has a smelly D, and IDK how to talk to him about it. I’ve been with plenty of uncut guys before, and this hasn’t been a problem. He likes to hook up after the gym. I get it: Working out makes me horny too, but he’s sweaty, and, like, it’s not good. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I know he’s sensitive about being uncut, but I gotta say something. I thought about breaking up with him just to avoid the conversation. -Male, Gay, 23

The issue here is hygiene and not just that’s he’s uncut. I’m curious if he is aware that he is lacking in the hygiene department? Some guys are into the sweaty smell and taste. It’s possible people in the past have enjoyed it, and he thinks you do too. I would approach this conversation the same way as any other conversation about a desired behavioral change in your romantic partner. First, reassuring him that you really care about him and want the relationship to work; second, that you care about openness and honesty; and third, that there is something you want you guys to work on to improve the relationship. Let him know how much you enjoy having sex with him, but that sometimes it’s difficult for you to totally enjoy yourself due to his hygiene. Then discuss a way you guys can both be satisfied, which might include something like a quick shower after the gym. This does not need to be a reason to end your relationship at this point.

Sex/Love/Relationship advice? Send your questions to: Instagram: @ThomasWhitfield84