Killer Unicorns from Anusburg

Last week, Jose Alvarez asked me out for a drink at Rise Bar on 9th Avenue.

It was completely out of the blue: Jose and I went on one date, ages ago. The date was lovely: He took me to The Players NYC, where you have to be a member, and treated me to a wonderful meal with delicious (and very alcoholic) drinks. (I couldn’t even pick up the tab—they charged his member account. It all felt so fancy to me, I was glad to be wearing my hot pink bowtie.) Later, we walked around, had another drink at some random wine bar and we got to know each other.

After our first date, I was out of town for a week, he was out of town for two weeks, and when we tried to reconnect he admitted that he just didn’t have the time to be dating. (Not to mention he lived in Brooklyn, which honestly feels like eight million miles away from me.) We stayed Facebook friends, and that was the last I heard from him.

Until now. I agreed: It’s so strange, the way people come into and out of our lives. I was so curious about what he was up to and why he wanted to meet.

Jose looked as great as usual, relaxed but stylish in skinny jeans and black leather boots. I felt overdressed (as I often do) in a sequined tank top and velvet blazer from last year’s H&M final sale.

We exchanged the typical pleasantries: You look great, Oh thanks so do you, How have you been, I’m great how are you, et cetera, et cetera. When conversation seemed to lull, I finally asked, “Why did you ask me to meet you tonight?”

“I’m working on a movie, and I was hoping you could come to our fundraiser party, and maybe write about it?”

“A movie?”

“Yes,” he beamed. “It’s called ‘Killer Unicorns from Anusburg.’”

“Oh. Uhm. I think I’m gonna need another drink to hear about this.”

Over a second (and third) margarita on the rocks, he told me about the script. “It’s a queer camp horror film. So it’s fun, but it’s also an exploration of gender identity and sexuality. Pretty much everyone we cast is a Brooklyn queer performer, and our creative team is also queer.” He rattled off all the names, people like Ruby Roo and Lady Simon and Elizabeth James. By the end of my third margarita, I was super into the idea of “Killer Unicorns from Anusburg.” (Never thought I’d say anything like that.)

“We’re calling the fundraising event Psycho Sodomites,’’ he went on. “We’ll have Misty Meaner emceeing, DJs, lots of performances. It’ll be a blast.”

So if you want to see me on Saturday night, November 5, I’ll be at Bizarre (12 Jefferson Street) in Brooklyn at 11 p.m., supporting “Killer Unicorns from Anusburg,” a movie made by someone I went on a date with.

Strange, indeed.