Kathy Griffin – “My Life On The PTSD-List” TOUR INCLUDES STOP @ CARNEGIE HALL

Emmy and Grammy Award winning powerhouse comedian, best selling author, television personality and advocate, Kathy Griffin will be performing at Carnegie Hall in NYC on October 26 as part of her “My Life On The PTSD-List” Tour. This marks her sixth show at the prestigious venue, breaking a record in that space previously held by the legendary Joan Rivers. Kathy will also be performing at the Wiltern in Los Angeles and the Chicago Theatre.

Her show is a celebration of resilience, humor and the power to laugh and heal after a rough six years that’s included lung cancer, which resulted in the removal of half her lung. Also a divorce, an addiction to pills, loss of her mom and an investigation by the U.S. government, which left her on the no-fly list and unable to work. (In 2017, Kathy posed in a darkly comic image with a replica of Trump’s severed head.) But she’s back now in full force and ready to rock n’ roll.

Kathy Griffin: First of all, six times that this little D lister, who was canceled by the President and the Attorney General and the Department of Justice, is going to break the freaking record of the most times a single comedian has played Carnegie by herself. The record was previously tied between myself and my beloved, who I miss every day, Joan Rivers.

INTERVIEW

I love Joan Rivers. But I think that you are funnier.

Oh, my God. Did you ever interview Joan?

You know what, I didn’t, and I really regret that.

Well, you missed out. Because she was such a mensch . And I am Irish Catholic, but I still know what that word means. She was a sweetheart . She had such a tough life. But I think about Ellen DeGeneres not having her on and how great it would have been if she had been able to show her respect.

Well, the thing is that nobody knew she was going to die.

Because we thought she’d be around forever.

Exactly. 

By the way, I feel like I am following in those footsteps because I don’t want to encourage any of the Trumpers  that stalk me, but at this point I feel like I can’t die. This is really annoying. I have tried pills. I had cancer. I had an implant in my left vocal cord because during my lung cancer surgery, even though I never smoked, they must have run that tube down so hard that they permanently killed my left cord. So, my next show back after a six-week break is Norwalk, Connecticut. And I get to do my first show with my full vocal cord implants. I should be studied.

After everything you’ve been through, isn’t it a little bit hard to be funny?

Honey, you have to. I’ve been through such dark shit. I talk about it in the show. I talk about my suicide attempt. And I have to tee it up. I’m like, “OK, you guys, it’s going to sound like I’ve lost my mind and this is going to be dark enough funny–I promise to make it funny.” One of the things I’m loving about this show is honestly, for the first time in my career, I’ve put together a show. And the reason I say that is because folks have been coming to see me all these decades, they know that I’m going to do two hours or sometimes two hours and 25 minutes. They know I’m going to improvise like a half hour of it. So this time, because the topic is so specific and I have complex PTSD, I was like, “You know what? If I’m sending out a 5150 cycle and I’m detoxing and shaking and sweating like a normal average junkie, dammit, someday this is going to be funny. So I talk about cancer. I talk about recovery. And I also talk about going to Paris Hilton’s Christmas party. Because you’ve got to lighten it up a little when you’re laying heavy stuff on. So I still sprinkle  all of your favorite Kathy Griffin on brand topics, if I could speak of myself in the third person. But it is a show. It has a beginning, a middle and an end. That’s new for me. And man, Carnegie, that’s the freaking place you want to do it. Even though whenever I’ve played there, the audience has been magical, I really hope they like this tour.

How could they not? Everybody wants to laugh.

Well, come on down. I’m the one-and-a-half lung wonder. You tell that to John Mulaney and Dave Chappelle with their two lungs.

You know, I loved you before, but I love you even more now.

Even when I’m half a lung down?

YES.

That’s it. I’m getting the other one taken out today. If it’ll get me from the D list to the C minus, honey, I’ll go into emergency surgery. I’m going to stop eating right now.

Oh my God, I want to see this show.

You better. Hold on. I hope you don’t think I’m going to give you a comp. Because let me tell you something, sweetheart. I made my brother buy tickets. I got those agents up my ass saying I sold out every show. And I said, “You know what? No comps.” Because they would never do that to the dudes. They would be like, “Oh, you’re at Carnegie and you’re at 84%. That’s awesome.” But for me, they’re like, “Every ticket must be sold.” So, Eileen, it’s not personal, but I am certainly not paying for your goddamn ticket.

Haha, I love you

I’m direct, Eileen.

You know what?  I manage a composer named Randy Edelman. He’s a big film scorer and his wife is Jackie DeShannon. I got him in Carnegie Hall for December 8th and I am going to comp you, so you should come.

I live in Malibu. It’s a big anti-vax area, but there are a lot of new Malibu kooks that I can make fun of now that I’ve moved here. In L.A., Malibu is considered a different state. It’s one of those things where if there’s no traffic, you could be here in 40 minutes. But if there is traffic, you could be here in an hour and 40 minutes. But I love it and there is a whole new group of celebrities here that often don’t leave Malibu and now they run from me. You think Mel Gibson wants to run into me? He doesn’t. And everyone clenches their teeth onto that portrait of the baby mama. Well, I’m not going to say I would punch Mel Gibson if I saw him, but I would punch Mark Burnett. You know what’s great about me? Making enemies with the most powerful men in the industry who could hire me and I’m bitching about why I’m not getting work and yet saying shit like “If I see Mark Burnett, I’m going to punch him in the face”. Well, then, you’d better come to the show. Because I’m still blacklisted in Hollywood. I’ve got no special offers. I’m not streaming. I’m not on low budget cable. Which, of course, was my area of expertise. I lost my health insurance. I haven’t done union gigs. I mean, I am biting and scratching my way back, baby. Practice, practice, practice–that’s how you get to Carnegie.

You know, I also rep Mickey Burns. You should go on his show. He interviewed Joan Rivers–and Joan Collins.

Honey, what about Joan Collins? She still has the young husband. I’m all about it.

But she’s beautiful. Did you see her picture?

Kelly Osborne used to live in that building with Sharon. And they live in this famous building called the Sierra Tower. It’s funny because it’s all millionaires. And so, Kelly told me on more than one occasion that she’s seen Joan posing in a bikini while her husband photographs her. And I thought, “I can make that work.” Whatever their arrangement is, I’m all for it. All I’m asking for is a guy to photograph me in a bikini by the pool. Is that too much, Eileen? Is that too much to ask? Have you seen my body? I could be a mature lady bikini model. You know Toddlers and Tiaras? I think they should come up with a category called “63 and Above” and I don’t think the competition would be as fierce, but I’m just telling you I could nail that shit. When you have been canceled by the government, you think of all sorts of alternate ways to make money, and mine would be going from pageant to pageant for a mature lady contest. Got to pay the bills, honey. Even though I don’t have a penny of debt. Did you know that?

That’s pretty good, actually.

Right. And I’ve been out of work for almost seven years. My good pal Suze Orman–remember her show? She has been my pal for many years. And she actually legit, for free, out of the goodness of her heart–she’s going to kill me for saying this–but she’s like guiding me. Also raised by my mom, Maggie Griffin, who you could see by watching My Life on the D List again on Peacock, where I am thrilled it’s streaming. People get to see my mom and dad again. But between my mom and Suze Orman, I am very proud of the fact that I socked my money away. I lived in a crappy studio apartment for seven years till I moved up within the building to a crappy one-bedroom for five years and socked money away. And I took a little picture. You may have heard of it. The Donald was upset with me. And when the Donald is upset, he tends to sic the Department of Justice on you. Cut to Jane Fonda saying to me, “Sorry, kid, this is what’s going to be on your tombstone.”

And then, another girlfriend of mine said, “You know what? You don’t take crap from anybody. You are Kathy Griffin. You’re in the history books.” And I go, “Yeah, as a cautionary tale.” And she goes…“But still.” Those are my friends. I’m on a tombstone and I’m a cautionary tale. Oh, and I’m a verb. Other comedians are afraid to be Kathy Griffinned.

But guess who didn’t Kathy Griffin me? Carnegie Hall.

Well, Carnegie Hall and the people that work there are the nicest people on the planet.

They are the best. It’s just one of those venues that you wouldn’t think of to go to a standup show. But believe it or not, it is amazing for stand-up. The acoustics are so good, especially for someone like me that has voice problems. You almost don’t need a microphone at all. Although now, I wear a very sexy headset microphone, almost like Michael Jackson or Janet. And I often feel like Janet Jackson with my microphone headset, but the acoustics are great. The way the audience shows up at Carnegie. People get dressed up. It’s an event. And I get it. I’m going to give 1000 percent. You’ve got the babysitter. You’ve made dinner reservations. You got dressed up. You’re on a date. You go to the men’s room and there is an hour wait because of the line. A Kathy Griffin tip: Go to the women’s room. It’s going to be empty. Don’t get me banned from Carnegie. I feel like you’re the devil on my shoulder, Eileen.

I might be. I swear to God, if you mention my name to anyone in Carnegie Hall, they will give you 10 shows. 

Guess what? I’m going to try that, bitch.

Do it. And you can do the same at Lincoln Center.

You want to hear something funny? I have played the Kennedy Center in D.C. five times. Yet they wouldn’t let me play during the Trump administration because…Did you know that during the President’s term, hopefully soon to be Madam President, but up to now it’s been all guys…As long as the President is serving, the President’s spouse is on the board of directors at the Kennedy Center. And Melania kept me from performing for years. Then they try to do it this time. And they politely…how should I say this…it was a hard pass. So I don’t know if I am banned from the Kennedy Center or maybe they think I can’t sell it out, which I don’t take personally. But I just thought you should know that during the Trump nightmare, fucking Melania was no innocent. Don’t fall for her Slovenian bullshit. Eileen, are you single or gay?

No, I’m not gay, I live with my gay soulmate and I don’t have a boyfriend by my own choice because if someone tried to tell me what to do, I’d kill them.

Eileen, I want to get there. I want to be where you are. I’m still sad from my divorce. But I want to be like you. I want to be one of those chicks where…You know what? I have four dogs that I love. I have a beautiful house in Malibu. I host these amazing parties that I call my salon. They are either a lunch or dinner and there’s a guest of honor. And it’s catered. And I’m back at work after being canceled. But I’m still not at that place yet like you or like when I talk to Jane Fonda, she’s there. Sharon Stone is there. Kristen Johnston is there. 

And I want to be one of those chicks of a certain age that’s like, “I don’t need no man”. They’re just going to try to tell me what to do. Fuck that.

Here’s the thing you’ve got to be–fun for yourself. And when you are, people feel that. They feel that vibration.

I know you’re on to something. Because by far, leaps and bounds, the only time I don’t feel my complex PTSD–and I know this sounds stupid, but something happens to my mind, body and soul where the minute my Doc Martens hit that stage, I just calm down and I’m actually having fun myself. But the audience vibration on this tour is like no tour I have ever felt. And I’ve been trying for decades. On this tour, whether I was in Omaha, where we only sold 58%, or in Long Beach, where I sold out, the audiences have been on their feet. There is something about these audiences, where they know I’ve been through shit. They know about the Trump picture. They know about the cancer. Like I’m just going out there and I get to have fun with them. And that’s the moment where I’m fine by myself. I’m totally okay. I wish I could feel that offstage. But I get what you’re saying. Because it kind of reminds me of how I feel when I’m working. I like to say I’m not by myself, I’m with myself. That’s my little mantra. I’m honestly thrilled that My Life on the D List is back on Peacock. I just came off 40 cities. I played the real America. And a couple of those states were red. But there’s only one Carnegie. The whole time I was canceled and those four chicks in my Zoom would have to hear me say, “I don’t care if it’s Judy Garland’s. No one would love to play Carnegie Hall as much as me.” Honestly, not to be corny, but I cannot believe I get the honor of playing Carnegie.

If you could have me ask you any question on the planet, what would it be and how would you answer it?

Okay. I have been doing interviews a long time. Never have I got this one. Hold on, I need a minute. Oh, I got one. It would be, “Why didn’t the concert movie that I made–Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a Story–get distribution? So what I did was, when no one would touch me, I made my own special. I funded it myself. It cost me a million dollars. And 20 minutes of it is documentary and 10 minutes stand-up. I did festivals with it. I did Q&As with some of the big names, blah blah blah. But when it came time for someone to just simply distribute it, just put it on a platform, no one did. So if I could ask one thing of you, it would be to watch that movie and get people to watch that movie. Because it really does answer all of the Trump questions. By the way, I’m grateful you didn’t make this interview about Trump because most people always want to ask me to tell them about that day. I want you to watch Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a Story because I am proud of it.