Jax Koyote is always on the sidelines, backstage, ready and willing to lend a hand. He is one of the most inspirational people I have ever had the privilege to know. Many of you are familiar with him; however, how many of you really know his story? Koyote confided in Get Out! quite candidly and from his heart.
Born biologically female in a small redneck town in Ohio to two deaf parents, Koyote’s first language was ASL (American Sign Language). Because of the mentality of children, who can sometimes be cruel, his school years were tainted with ridicule and scholastic difficulties as his peers mistook his deaf parents as being “retarded”. He became an introvert, and eventually, at the age of 12, turned to alcohol and drugs as his companions. At age 18, he ran away to New York as a last chance to have a life, and in the hopes of pursuing a career in the music industry.
He wound up living with the sister of a well-known celebrity until, at age 21, he wound up in rehab. Determined to get his life together, he lived in a halfway house, got a job and saved his money until he was able to move out on his own in hopes of following his dream. He was offered a job at Arista Records, but then the music industry took a dive, and his dreams were smashed.
It was about this time that he began to come out and identify as being queer; however, he was not entirely comfortable considering him as a lesbian, but had no idea why, until he met and became inspired by his first transsexual. The rest is still becoming history.
So Jax, besides helping everyone in New York with anything and everything, what exactly do you do as a career?
I have a small little dog walking business, and I’m a photographer/artist.
You love gay nightlife?
I do. The drag inspires me as an artist. It brings out that creativity that I have.
Tell me a little about Jax.
I’m originally from Ohio. I come from two deaf parents, so my first language was ASL (American Sign Language). I grew up in a very, very small town, so it was hard for me to be social, and I grew up as an introvert. I struggled with school, mainly with English. I failed first grade twice because of that. So what do you do in Ohio when you really have nowhere else to go? My sister would have a house party and invite the whole block, and we would get high and drunk. I turned to drugs and alcohol at a very early age, and they became my best friends. Needless to say, I became very drug and alcohol dependent, and it ruled my life from age 12 to 21. At 21 I ended up in rehab.
Then after rehab?
After rehab I started getting my life together. I knew if I wanted to stay in New York, I had to really start fresh and start over. So I ended up coming out. I pretty much came out of the closet as queer. I didn’t really identify as a lesbian, even though that is what most people see me as. I met a girl, and I moved into the city. It was really weird for me, because I didn’t feel like I came out, I felt like I met a girl. The funny thing is, I hung out with all these lesbians all the time, and I never understood them. A lot of them thought like a straight man, but I couldn’t understand the straight man either. The first trans guy I met, I had no idea. I had no idea that there was even such a thing. My mind was blown. My first thought was, “I wish I were like you.” Then I met my second trans person, and I actually met him as a her. He came from a Jewish Orthodox family, and the first time I met him, he was wearing a dress. I watched him transition, and it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.
And then?
I did a lot of self work. I went to my gynecologist and explained that I was sick and tired of living in this body. She told me she had been waiting for me to say something. She asked me if I was ready, and said she could hook me up with someone, and I could get on testosterone right away.
What is it like being on testosterone?
Well, I started to be more like myself. I started becoming more comfortable. I started being able to be just be me. Going through puberty at age 37 is a trip. It is not fun, and I wish I would’ve decided this years ago. I am like a 14-year-old boy, always hungry. My body has changed a lot in ways that I never thought possible. I look in the mirror—I try not to look at my breasts—and I like what I see.
What advice would you give somebody who feels the same way as you did?
My advice is really get to know yourself. Take the time to answer those questions for yourself. Also get to know other trans people. Befriend them, and ask them if you can ask them questions. Join a support group, a trans support group at the LGBT Center. Do a little bit of therapy, so that way you get to know yourself a little more. Really get to know yourself, because you’re the only person that you are going to live with for the rest of your life. It’s your happiness. Who do you want to be in life?
You are very much involved in the world of drag.
I like sparkly things. I like rhinestones, and I like unicorns, and I like glitter.
Well, who doesn’t?
This is why I hang out with drag queens. I like those things, but I’m very masculine in nature. I like the opposite; I like femininity. I get a little bit of that creative and feminine side when I hang out with drag queens. I like the glitter and the glam, and I get to help them with their dresses. I love doing those things, I just don’t want to wear them. Not only that, though; drag queens also inspire me to be true to myself, as they are very true to who they are and do what they love.
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