Greg Walloch

Greg Walloch is a sweet, gentle soul with an amazing energy and spirit. Being gay and having Cerebral Palsy kind of places him in a unique comical place as a comedian, or “storyteller” as he originally set out to be. With each of his answers I felt he was actually telling a story. He displayed quite a bit of insight as to the disabled when he said, “Even disabled people want to get in on the joke. We wanna be like everyone else, INCLUDED. we just wanna be in on it, and I think it’s OK. we don’t have to treat the disabled with this filter.”
Greg has been on Fire Island and is friends with Ariel Sinclair as well as all over the world entertaining audiences. If you want to sample his humor, (which I strongly suggest you do if you want to laugh), visit:

facebook.com/eatyourwordsshow

Instagram and Twitter:
@gregwalloch

It was truly a treat speaking with Greg, as he is a person anyone would enjoy calling a friend.

How long have you been funny?
Well, I think I’ve probably been funny my whole life, but I’ve been doing it professionally since 1986.

Nice! What made you decide to be a comedian?
Initially when I started out I was doing more sort of “storytelling” and theatrical work, and I worked in a place in Santa Monica, California, in the early ‘90s. The reason it was performance based and considered slightly avant-garde was because I was a gay man with a disability telling stories. It wasn’t really until I went on the “Howard Stern Show” when he was on E! Entertainment Television that he dubbed me a comedian, and that was my first major exposure as a comic. But in the beginning the aim wasn’t necessarily comedy, I was just a storyteller who happened to be telling really funny stories.

What was it like working with Howard Stern?
Oh, I found Howard Stern completely charming. Like, I think he wears those dark sunglasses on purpose to cover his eyes, because when you meet him and you look him in his eyes you can tell he really has a soft spirit. He was a very charming man, very supportive of my work. Before we went out and did the interview he said, “Listen, nothing I say here is personal. We’re here to have a great time and make provocative TV and radio.” It was a great experience for me.

Do you get nervous before you get on stage?
I always feel that there’s a healthy amount of nerves for everyone. I think that if you are a performer and you get to a place where you are very blase about it, I don’t think that’s so good. I think there should always be a little bit of nervousness involved.

What happens when you’re on stage and nobody laughs?
You know … I heard something actually really beautiful last night. I host a show called “Eat Your Words.“ It’s about stories about food. One of my performers in the show, Beth Lapides, she said she likes to think of it as “giving laughs” instead of “getting laughs.” You’re up there to give laughs instead of getting laughs. I thought that was so beautiful, and that’s really the way to approach things. I treat the audience where they are, and their reaction is their reaction. It’s not personal. Of course, you want everyone to laugh. You want everyone to have a good time. But as a storyteller I’m OK with there being some space. Not everybody has to be laughing throughout. What I’m trying for more so is to get a genuine reaction. So if a genuine reaction is no one laughing, that’s OK. It’s the experience we had in the room.

Interesting philosophy. I like it. What’s the funniest experience you’ve ever had on stage?
I used to have a section in my show where I pulled somebody on stage, an audience member, and I would fall in love with them for a moment, because I talked about how great falling in love was, and that wouldn’t it be great if we could fall in love for a moment. Then I would pick a person and slow dance with them, and music would play, and we would fall in love for a brief moment. I remember when I was performing in Australia for gay and lesbian Sydney Mardi Gras, which I think is like the biggest gay event in the world. I picked a man out of the audience, and I did the whole bit about falling in love, and I was slow dancing with him, and the audience was really reacting. I was like, “What is going on?” People were just like flipping out. I had said that it doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, so I pulled a man up on stage, I slow danced with him, and then I found out later that the person I pulled up from the audience was a very famous transgender person – female to male transgender, I think the first female to male transgender person in Australia – so little did I know I picked a celebrity.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
I don’t know if it’s ever happened to me, but I feel like there is that gut feeling. I do feel that you have a gut reaction, and sure, I believe it. I don’t know if it’s happened to me.

If you could choose to have two celebrities as parents, who would they be?
Oh my gosh, that’s such an interesting question. When I was working in Tampa I was in the smaller theater and Lily Tomlin was in the larger theater, and I got to share the backstage with her, and she was so sweet, just amazing. So I think Lily Tomlin would be an amazing mom. There’s a comedian, Ron Sanchez, and he’s so funny and so great and really sweet. He might not be my dad; he’d be a nice older brother or an uncle. Or even better, I was such a fan of Alden Gray. So Alden Gray. Those feel like good metaphorical parents for what I do.

OK then, what celebrity would you most like to have sex with?
Well I’ll tell you, one of the first crushes that I ever had before I really understood what sexuality was or sex was, I was completely obsessed with the “Twilight Zone,” and I loved the beginning where Rod Serling would step out and tell the show to us. So I had a huge attraction to Rod Serling, I think because he was kind of a storyteller. As a little boy I found myself really attracted to Rod Serling. The strange thing is that I learned, I don’t know if it’s true or not, that he was kind of homophobic. But who knows, maybe there was something going on.

Hey, you never know.
I was really attracted to him as a kid, and also the first Darren from “Bewitched” was also a crush.

Those are very interesting choices. So you are standing naked in a store window and holding a sign. What does it say?
I feel like it wouldn’t have anything to do with my nudity.

It doesn’t have to, it’s your sign! OK, someone wrote a biography about you. It’s titled…?
“If I Could Make It Up All These Stairs, So Could You – The Greg Walloch Story.”

What would your name be if you were a porn star?
If I did porn, I’d wanna be straight up and use my real name. I wanna be real and I wanna be authentic. When I put my name on dating sites I always put my actual name. So I feel like if I did porn I’d wanna be brave enough to own it.
Do you have a boyfriend?
I am single currently.

Well, what type of man are you attracted to?
I always talk about how I’m really attracted to surfers and skaters. I don’t know if that’s who I’m actually looking for, but I’m originally from Southern California, and I was around that type of guy as a kid. I think you’re sort of hard-wired from your environment, so I’m really attracted to that kind of “dude” kind of guy. But I don’t know if they make good long-term husbands.

Well, I’ll put it out there for you.
I’m really attracted to people’s energy. I know that’s kind of a New Wave-y kind of answer. I’m less attracted to physical qualities; I’m more attracted to what people think about or what they think.

You’re a new arrival to the crayon box. What’s your color?
Paisley.

Best answer I’ve ever gotten! So what would you like to promote?
I host a show at the Standard Hollywood called “Eat Your Words.” It’s stories about food. I wanted to create an evening that gives folks the feeling of community, where people come together and take a break from their day and kind of sit around the kitchen table – a metaphorical kitchen table – sharing stories over a bottle of wine. “Eat Your Words” really provides an opportunity for the L.A. community to come out and meet some of their favorite comedians, performers and storytellers. What’s unique about the show is that every month we have a chef or bartender who comes on and talks about their experience working in the L.A. food community.

When is it?
The first Thursday of every month.

You should come to New York.
OMG, I lived there for 20 years!