A few weeks ago I wrote about a significant segment of the gay population: The Disney Boys. This week I am tackling another bloc of homosexual men that I am also a part of: The Gaymers.
Are you a Gaymer? Chances are that you are. Whether your gayme of choice is the video variety, or you’re an avid player of Settlers of Catan, or you’re the first to break out a deck of Cards Against Humanity at an alcohol-filled house party, I’ll bet that you enjoy a good game from time to time.
We gay men are more in touch with our younger selves than many. Perhaps this has to do with the fact that we were frozen in time at a young age, grappling with our sexual identities, not able to fully mature, grow and, dare I say, flower, when others were. For this reason, it isn’t surprising that many of us remain avid gamers.
While I’ve never gotten into Pokemon, my Facebook newsfeed informs me that many of the rest of you have. I still don’t, because I hate turn-based games. They take too long. I prefer the free-flow of combat and the open sandbox environments of games like Grand Theft Auto, Assassin’s Creed and God of War.
Also, I am a huge fan of game violence. The more blood and gore, the better. You can bet that I’ll find myself deviating from quests to mow down pedestrians in a car I jacked from an old woman who I flung onto the street (and backed over a few times for good measure). I’ve played that minigame where Kratos has an orgy with a room full of women numerous times before setting back out on my quest to butcher the Grecian gods. It’s just how I like to spend my time.
Despite this, I am not a violent or angry guy In Real Life. That’s the catch. Gaymers, despite the media that says we are antisocial malcontents who could shoot up a crowded pedestrian plaza because of our video-violent pastimes, are actually quite sweet, friendly and extremely nerdy. Give one of us a shot! We’d love to teach you how to game, and won’t even mind when you beat us down the line, because we’ll feel a sense of credit for having mentored you to such a level of Pwning the master.
Gaymers are an amazing group of guys. Much like when it comes to guys who love Disney, I also send potential dates to the front of the line if they can spend a long afternoon or a disastrous overnight, despite work in the morning, gaming away to their heart’s content.
The couple that games together, stays together. Nothing helps resolve (or dissolve) an argument quicker than a bout of Mortal Kombat where one gets to eviscerate and remove the internal organs of the other. As long as neither one of them is a button-mashing cheapskate, that is. That would be a total dealbreaker.
I got back in touch with my Gaymer side this past week at Boxers on Thursday night in Hell’s Kitchen. Shane Cherry, a guy I actually went to college with many years ago, is one of the promoters of the new weekly shindig where game systems get hooked up to the many televisions downstairs in the Dog Pound. There’s also skeeball, pool and beer pong, too.
The energy of the room was palpable. There’s just something so awesome about a room full of guys who’d rather grab a controller instead of someone’s butt or package. Well, at least until the match is over. Grabbing other things probably happens afterward.
You can expect to find me at this party pretty regularly as these cold months continue. Come on by, I’d love to school you in Super Smash Bros on the Wii U.
Are you a Gaymer? Drop me a line. I’m always down for a tournament or long, sexually tense evening of PS Now and Chill. And who knows? Maybe we’ll end up married some day, and Mario can officiate our wedding.
XO Justin Luke
Justin Luke is one of New York’s premiere gay party producers and promoters. He is also a six-time published author and entrepreneur. Visit JustinLukeNYC.com for more info.