Thomas talks about: Needing Space

By Thomas Whitfield

This guy and I started dating almost two months ago, and I thought things were going well until a week ago when he told me he needs some space. He said that he really likes me a lot and it freaks him out, he wants to go slow, and needs some time to figure things out in his head. So, I tried to give him space, but then he was hitting me up, and now he says he needs space again. Is this something that actually happens, like someone wants space and then it works out? Or is it just BS? I feel like I’m being pulled back and forth, but I want shit to work out. -Male, Gay, 26

It’s possible that if you’ve been spending a lot of time together he could feel like he’s giving up on his friends or other important aspects of who he is. It’s imperative that when we start dating someone we’re excited about that we don’t discard everything else in our life that makes us happy. It’s true that he may need time to reconnect with himself and find balance. However, he may also be trying to send you hints that he wants to stop hanging out. Beginning to date should be fun, easy going and about getting to know each other… slowly. If he wants space, give him space, but don’t wait around for him. Live your life.

I’ve gone on five dates with a guy who I really like, but I sort of can’t tell if he likes me! It’s driving me nuts, but he’s all close when I see him and then disappears for days. He doesn’t respond to texts, but will like my IG posts. I can’t read this f*cker, and I’m just like, WTF?! IDK if it’s mixed signals or just how he communicates. Maybe he just isn’t into texting? It’s annoying the hell out of me! How can I tell if he’s into me or not? -Male, Gay, 23

Instead of worrying right now about if he likes you, ask yourself if you actually like him. This guy is only available sometimes, doesn’t communicate in the ways you’d prefer and doesn’t send clear signals about his emotions or intentions. Wow, what a winner! Not everyone is going to be great at discussing their feelings; for some people, it takes time to develop and work up to, but this guy just sounds very inconsistent. If someone is into you, you’re going to know it. Stop trying to figure him out, and just be yourself. And, who he is right now is probably him being himself. It’s only been five dates. If you don’t like how he acts, then accept that’s who he is and step away.

Sex/Love/Relationship advice? Send your questions to: [email protected] Instagram: @ThomasWhitfield84