By Thomas Whitfield

You guys are blowing up my inbox with questions about dicks. Questions about your own, your partner(s) and what’s normal. Side note: I’m not able to diagnose anything, especially via email, so if there’s pain or something coming out of your junk that’s unexpected, go see your doctor.

A study from 2015 included cock sizes from over 15,000 men across the world. Researchers measured participants both soft and erect (probably not the worst job ever) and reported averages of 3.5 inches soft and 5.2 inches erect. But, not everyone is in that range, and this week I’ll answer a few questions I’ve received about the outsiders.

I’m a self-proclaimed size-queen, but I’ve fallen for someone who is pretty small. We went on a few dates before I found out, and

now I really like him, but I also love big dick. I’m afraid I’m going to miss it and might end up cheating. – Gay, male, 25

We like what we like, and there isn’t always something we can change about it; however, there are a few things you can do in this situation. First, you could have a conversation with him about getting your needs met. Guys know what their dicks are, and if he’s not hung, he’s likely aware of it. It’s also possible that people have stopped dating him in the past because of it, and If that’s the case, he would probably appreciate talking about it instead of just being dumped. Come up with a plan for pleasure that works for both of you. This could include toys, a special hung guest star, whatever you need—as long as you both agree on it. Second, you can end it and look for someone with a larger dick. It’s really a choice of what’s more important to you now, a big dick or continuing with this guy. Neither choice is better than the other, it’s just where you are. In NYC there’s always a bigger dick around every corner, but connections aren’t guaranteed.

My boyfriend has a huge cock—I know, woe is me. But really, it’s too big, and I don’t like bottoming for him, because it hurts. I do everything else to get him off, but am I supposed to just grin and bear it, or am I allowed to stop? – Gay, male, 19

You’re young, listen up. You do not have to keep doing ANYTHING sexual you don’t want to, at any age. Sometimes in relationships we do things for our partners that we maybe aren’t so into, but don’t do something that hurts you if you don’t like it. If you do want to bottom, but more comfortably, there are other things you can try to loosen up. Include plenty of foreplay like fingering, toys, rimjobs and different lubes (use lots). There are also anal trainers, which are sets of butt plugs that slowly stretch you over time so you’re able to accommodate a larger dick more easily. Again, if anything hurts too much, stop. If you don’t, you may run the risk of developing anal fissures (small painful tears), which are easily treated by a doctor, but literally a pain in the ass.

Sex/Love/Relationship advice? Send your questions to: Instagram: @ThomasWhitfield84